Library

Yesterday I took my brother to the library. Now, this may not sound so impressive. If there were more readers of this blog, I daresay every single one would exclaim that that was nothing to be proud of. Why, hundreds of people every day take their brothers to the library. However, my brother possesses a special talent, a talent responsible for taking any hum drum excursion and turning it into, for lack of a better term, a journey.

To start off with, my brother is constantly plugged in. It is difficult to get him out of the house in the first place, for all of his favorite things are here. Quite frequently he will be found with a dog on his lap, his television on, and his face plugged into his computer like a three pronged electrical device. Within the time frame that I asked him to go to the library, my brother watched Hannah Montana, played on Neopets, and watched all three Charlie the Unicorns. As we left the house, I forced him to leave his Nintendo DS behind. I was determined that this excursion was going to end with my brother gaining a deep understanding of the love I have for books, and with him fostering one of his own.

"Do you want to look upstairs or downstairs for books? The kids section is downstairs, I used to love it when I was your age."

"I guess I'll look downstairs,"

"Ok sweetie! Find a nice chapter book. I'll be upstairs if you need me."

I proceeded to pat myself on the back, for the last time we went to the library, he had refused to look downstairs, favoring the "Prehistoric Fish" section upstairs, a section primarily devoted to books with few words and large paintings of said fish.

I looked for maybe twenty minutes around the library before he came upstairs again.

"Can you help me find this book?" Two call numbers were inscribed on a white sheet of scratch paper. With a sinking feeling, I realized that this book included large full color illustrations of fish. I guided him to the section and I could not find either call number. I told him to keep looking, and I resumed searching the non fiction section for books. Ten minutes later he came back with a big grin on his face and the book in his hand.

"That's great. I'm glad you found it. You should get a chapter book too. Go back downstairs."

He began to move in the opposite direction of the stairs.

"The stairs are that way, J."

"Oh, I know. I've been riding the elevator."

"What? Why? You know. . .never mind, just go find a chapter book, ok?"

"Ok. Maybe I'll look upstairs."

I started to become exasperated.

"The only books upstairs are ones for grown ups. What's wrong with the kid's section?"

"It's creepy down there. It's too young for me."

"J, just please, go find a book. And use the stairs."

At this point a librarian came over with a dirty look on her face. Our argument was attracting looks. J headed back downstairs. He returned ten minutes later with a book about twenty pages long.

"Can we go home yet?" He stood in front of the bookcase I was looking at. "I got a chapter book."

"That is not a chapter book. Where did you get that?"

"We read it in the fourth grade."

"It has a picture of a smiling mouse wearing a suit on the cover. That book is for second graders."

"Don't judge a book by its cover."

I gave up. I finished looking, let him put back the 'chapter book', and took him home. On our way back home, I learned exactly what I was fighting.

"You know, I bet this book has more words than any chapter book."

"How many pages is it?"

"One hundred."

I suppose a picture's worth a thousand words, but for his sake I hope the SATs are fish themed by the time he takes them.

"A mackerel is an a)Fish b)Pot c)Dog d)Cat"

Dear lord, please let him pick 'a'.