Aliens

I don't think aliens would feel very threatened by the human race. I was watching Brian Regan today, and he made quick note of this fact, but then I started to wonder what a conversation between aliens regarding how much they should care about us would be like. So now we have Gnibit and Snorf, two aliens from the planet Remulon (they will be symbolized as G and S).

G: Sir, I bring information on the human race.

S: Very well then, very well. Tell me of their defenses Gnibit.

G: Well, Sir, they have no natural defenses.

S: None?

G: That I have seen. They appear entirely lacking in natural poisons or spikes of any nature. Their teeth are useless for battle. Their bones and flesh are easily breakable. Their speed is mediocre. They have weapons. . .

S: How is their weaponry?

G: Above average. But they seem intent on using it to kill each other.

S: Each other? Why?

G: Mostly over land. Sometimes over what to worship. Sometimes they kill people to stop them from killing other people. And those are just the times that the whole portions of the planet decide it's time to kill each other. They kill each other one on one too.

S: So not only do they kill each other in droves, they kill each other one on one?

G: Yes, and sometimes they even kill themselves.

S: Themselves?

G: Themselves.

S: But. . .why?

G: The human race has this thing called emotion.

S: Explain.

G: I don't quite understand it. Humans are very possessive. They are possessive of things other humans own. They are possessive of other humans. And when they don't get what they want or when a possessed object or human is lost, they exhibit strange behaviors. Often they become unproductive or unsocial or even willing to kill themselves.

S: So basically there is a whole planet wrapped up in either possessing or killing other members of the same species?

G: . . .In a nutshell.

S: *Sigh* They likely wouldn't even notice a takeover, would they?

G: Probably not Sir. Humans are very self absorbed.

S: *Sigh* Go study a useful planet then. . .I hear Grenorg 5 at least has inhabitants with spikes.