Vast spaces of internet, you may remember Guyman from my last post, if you cared to read it. Guyman and I had a long history, and we fought so much that after a while, one could look on a calendar and say on any given day, whether or not Guyman and I were going to get along that day. Eventually, Guyman decided to "end it", apparently under the impression that we were dating, though we were not. The world imploded for a few weeks, because I loved Guyman very much. Eventually though, like a favorite lamp, one must either reconstruct their life with a few pieces missing and hope no one notices, unless it is to say, "Did you ever hear about the time that Guyman broke our lamp?" or one must buy a new lamp, something I had tried in the past, and something I was not willing to do again. I rebuilt my life and hoped no one noticed that Guyman was missing. I was fine for a while, truly, I was. Some new pieces of lamp arrived in the mail, and I tried to squeeze them in the hole. And they fit, a little. The Guyman shaped hole was smaller.
Then today, Guyman defriended me on Facebook. For no reason. Confused, I contacted Guyman and asked him why he was being rude and trying to break my lamp again (metaphorically of course- Guyman did not actually break a lamp.) Guyman responded that the memory of his lamp-breaking excursions was painful, even though he purposefully broke my lamp and I had already gotten over the fact that he broke my lamp. Guyman wanted to forget not only the time he broke my lamp, but all the other times we ever spent together, because those were painful for him too. Then he blocked me on Facebook, without even giving me a chance to tell him to grow up and stop ignoring me at parties, because it's embarrassing.
I'm really glad he didn't actually break my favorite lamp though. I might have had to go all ninja on him if he had.
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